106 degrees rule
hot sun screams
ceiling fan cools
soul swaying
beckoning for light
Jazz playing
possibility of a
harmonious night
Flame burns
wax drips
pauses in mid air
mint tea
warms lips
daggering stare
brown eyes bleed
hazel tears
Multiple colors
that exspress
yet camouflage
my metomrphosis
A new me
a larceny
of time
Untimely
presentation
to the world
will the universe
still hold me
in it's arms
Will I be a butterfly
A wonder woman
or simply become
the next level I-
(C) logicalpoetist August 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Window of anticipation
Photo by Tinou BaoWarm sighs... waiting
anticipating a call tonight
A voice that says come
be with me, saturate me
Capture blind side
induce vision
fine wine splashes glass
sips, wet lips,crash
of crystal
strokes
of incense smoke
dances above us
Soft music plays
Jazz of course
smooth silhouette...
your face
entertaining imagery
beauty so set aside
and apart... Amazing
How did we fall apart
are there any more doors
to walk through or
meadows to pick
Birds of Paradise
ice to cool hot love
apologies to accept
warm sighs... waiting
anticipating a call tonight..
(C) logicalpoetist
July 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The Art of Making Love
Photo by: JerryPeel back the blanket of her disguise
See the truths behind what she denies
never see her truths as lies
kiss tears from the corners of her eyes
don't be the reason she ever cries
Caress the softness of her skin
compliment the goods she holds within
Listen when you want to speak
while she is talking stroke her cheek
Repeat back to her what she has told
watch as the trust simply unfolds
Stare deep and glaring into her eyes
for these are the windows to her soul
What you see is what you get
do not walk out or become upset
for every part that you discover
seek understanding
don't run for cover
Take time to hug, hold and caress
although she excites you
Don't always seek sex
A woman wants to be appreciated
for her intellect
Get into her mind
study her library of thoughts
file them alphanumerically
within your heart
reference often
what you've been taught
verbalize both passion and desire
seek an internal place of higher
Place her at the top of your list
show her always your tenderness
Now when you lie down with her day or night
You'll find that it's the ultimate flight
love never starts between the sheets
and it is only good when you've
laced it with the necessary sweets
If your intimacy is a wreck
it's probably that you've
just been having sex
(C)logicalpoetist July 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
A Poet's Determination
As I tap my fingers against these keys trying to decide what to write. What comes to mind is the loneliness that one feels on the way to the height of their destiny.
My experience comes to mind. Reflections of the attacks on my life, from the very day that I was born. I was a very brown skinned, chubby bundle as I am told. Jolly in spirit and all though just born; possessed an old soul.
Of course I don't remember that far back but, I do remember the first attack. It was about the age of six. Auntie & Uncle left me in their Mercedes Benz and went into uncles Automotive shop. If I remember correctly the car was a powdery, metallic blue with tan leather interior and smelled strongly of men's cologne. It smelled like uncle. He was always "clean" although, he was the owner of an Auto body business.
As I sat in the car, I stared at the front door of the shop in anticipation of their return.
This man(white)came out and appeared to be one of my uncles employees. He had on a Navy blue, Mechanics outfit, that was soiled with oil. His hands were greasy and his hair dirty, blond. He spotted me in the window of the car and began squinting his beady blue eyes at me. Then he lit up a cigarette;never taking his eyes off me.
I, never took my eyes off him. As we stared at each other, I searched for a smile or a hello from him but,instead, he stuck out his tongue and rattled it at me. I did not understand. I did not take my eyes off him but, I did stretch my eyes in fear.
After a moment or so, the man began massaging his (genitalia) personal area and squeezing himself aggressively. I remember being terrified and confused.
The next thing I knew, he pulled it(penis) out)and started walking toward the car. I cringed; crouched down in the seat and started wishing for my aunt and uncle to come out of the shop. I don't know what happened but,I heard the man saying;
"Renz(my uncle)that is a cute kid you got there." My uncle returned a thank you;she is my niece... Uncle tapped on the window and prompted me to say hello to the man.
The look on my face must have told him something because,instantly he asked me "what's the matter niece?"
The man escaped confrontation by saying he better get back to work. He waved at me and said;"see you later princess." I never said a word. As my Aunt and uncle got back into the vehicle, my aunt noticed that,I didn't look so well in the face. So, she began questioning me. My uncle followed her lead.
I told them what the man had done. My uncle Renz immediately jumped out of the car and rushed back into the shop. Within moments,I saw the guys body come flying through the front door, by this time; his face was completely covered in blood! My uncle was screaming that he'd better "F-ing" apologize to me, or he is going to kill him! The man began yelling;I'm sorry and was crying like a feline. My uncle screamed,"your fired!"
I always wondered why the man did such a thing to me. I was only six.
Well to fast forward, similar experiences continued as I grew up. Some even succeeded further violations. Thank God that I have dealt with them but, it robbed me of my innocence and for a long time, it stole my voice and self-esteem.
Now, as I reflect,I realize that asking why is not important. Understanding why, is... My understanding has come from a solid relationship with God. I have not let ANYONE, tell me that, I am not good enough for the Lord to love; and believe me, so many have tried to convince me of this.
Every thing that I have encountered has made me strong. Each experience prepared me for the next and every single one contributed to my abilities to handle what, may have broken others down. Now, I do not profess to be a "stainless steel..." I had my fall between 1989 and 1991. I met a girl named Coca Aine and she and I,
"ran together for a minute." She became my best friend. So much so, that all my other friends had to go. I had no room for them.
Somehow or another I got tired of Coca because she was trying to spend every day and every moment with me. She did not want me to eat,sleep,or work. She definitely did not want me to be the mother that I had been in the past to my beautiful daughter. Coca even stole from me and encouraged me to steel from myself and others. Coca had me lying to myself and to others so,yeah, she needed to go.
I managed to remember the teachings of my grandmother in my most terrified moments.
Nana had taught me that prayer changes things. Prayer can move the mountains that we cannot. I incorporated prayer because as desperate as I had become, it was the one thing that I had not tried to dismantle my relationship with Coca. It worked. I know today that prayer without works is dead because as I look back; I did have to take the necessary actions in conjunction with prayer.
I had to stop hanging out with friends of Coca and find new friends. I had to fill these gaps with some previous good friends and I had to work hard to be a better person in every way. Most importantly, one of my resources taught me that if I did not deal with my violations then they would haunt me again and possibly Coca would make her way back into my life. The thought of this scared me so much that,I began professional counseling with a therapist.
I utilized other tools like support groups. I was getting stronger and stronger.
Six years into my recovery process, I tried to help a friend with her relocation back to our hometown by subletting her my apartment. I had met her during my healing period and she too was recovering from her life's fall. I had grown very close to her but she'd left to go back to the state where she was originally from. Well, I heard that she wanted to now transition back to the town where we'd become friends.
I had a home in Burlington, Massachusetts and an apartment in Malden, Massachusetts that, was vacant and furnished. I Offered my friend a sublet lease.
Due to some previous credit issues that prevented her ability to turn on utilities in her own name;I turned the utilities on in my name for her. One day, I got a call from the light company that my lights were going to be shut off, due to non-payment of the bill. It had not been paid since she moved in three months ago. I called her and discussed it and was assured by her that, she would take care of it.
I warned her that the light company stated that they were scheduled to shut the lights off by 9pm if the bill was not paid.
Later that evening my friend called to accuse me of turning the lights off on her and her son. I was shocked! I defended myself by referencing the earlier conversation but, she was not trying to hear me and the accusations grew stronger and stronger. Finally, I got angry and said; that even if I did. "You have not paid the bill for three months!" It just dawned on me; "What was her rational?" The truth is, I did not have them turned off.
I believe that to this day she holds this untruth in her heart. I have not seen, nor spoken to her in about fourteen years. Our relationship ended with her having her sons father threaten me and the two of them accusing me of relapsing in my recovery.
This roomer was spread all over Boston where I'd lived at the time.
Many of the so called friends believed and sided with her and turned their backs on me. I don't blame them as she had more years of knowing them than I. My life went on and I am sure all of theirs did as well. The reason that I shared all this is because I owe it to myself to tell my side of the story as no one's ever asked me.
Personally I never felt the need to explain to people who had formed opinions.
The point here is, that even after establishing a covenant relationship with my Lord and savior; challenges have never stopped. The attacks on my life have never quit. The adversary has worked diligently to Steal, kill and destroy my soul.
Clearly, I have not let it stop me. I have persevered through it all. And just think, you haven't heard one tenth of my story. I thank God for my journey here.
I look forward to more of His Mercy and Grace because, I know that neither He, nor the adversary are through with me yet.
I pray that this small part of my story encourages someone and teaches them that they must not quit and that they are never alone.
My life has birthed my ability to paint these pages of encouragement for other children in the struggle... Here are a few things to always remember. Love hard, forgive yourself first so that it's easier to forgive someone else, be responsible, work hard, tell the truth no matter how scary or hurtful it may seem and always pray to your higher power. Mine is God and He does not mind being yours too! Most of all always pray and seek both instruction and direction.
Life really is what you make it!
(C)logicalpoetist July 2010
My experience comes to mind. Reflections of the attacks on my life, from the very day that I was born. I was a very brown skinned, chubby bundle as I am told. Jolly in spirit and all though just born; possessed an old soul.
Of course I don't remember that far back but, I do remember the first attack. It was about the age of six. Auntie & Uncle left me in their Mercedes Benz and went into uncles Automotive shop. If I remember correctly the car was a powdery, metallic blue with tan leather interior and smelled strongly of men's cologne. It smelled like uncle. He was always "clean" although, he was the owner of an Auto body business.
As I sat in the car, I stared at the front door of the shop in anticipation of their return.
This man(white)came out and appeared to be one of my uncles employees. He had on a Navy blue, Mechanics outfit, that was soiled with oil. His hands were greasy and his hair dirty, blond. He spotted me in the window of the car and began squinting his beady blue eyes at me. Then he lit up a cigarette;never taking his eyes off me.
I, never took my eyes off him. As we stared at each other, I searched for a smile or a hello from him but,instead, he stuck out his tongue and rattled it at me. I did not understand. I did not take my eyes off him but, I did stretch my eyes in fear.
After a moment or so, the man began massaging his (genitalia) personal area and squeezing himself aggressively. I remember being terrified and confused.
The next thing I knew, he pulled it(penis) out)and started walking toward the car. I cringed; crouched down in the seat and started wishing for my aunt and uncle to come out of the shop. I don't know what happened but,I heard the man saying;
"Renz(my uncle)that is a cute kid you got there." My uncle returned a thank you;she is my niece... Uncle tapped on the window and prompted me to say hello to the man.
The look on my face must have told him something because,instantly he asked me "what's the matter niece?"
The man escaped confrontation by saying he better get back to work. He waved at me and said;"see you later princess." I never said a word. As my Aunt and uncle got back into the vehicle, my aunt noticed that,I didn't look so well in the face. So, she began questioning me. My uncle followed her lead.
I told them what the man had done. My uncle Renz immediately jumped out of the car and rushed back into the shop. Within moments,I saw the guys body come flying through the front door, by this time; his face was completely covered in blood! My uncle was screaming that he'd better "F-ing" apologize to me, or he is going to kill him! The man began yelling;I'm sorry and was crying like a feline. My uncle screamed,"your fired!"
I always wondered why the man did such a thing to me. I was only six.
Well to fast forward, similar experiences continued as I grew up. Some even succeeded further violations. Thank God that I have dealt with them but, it robbed me of my innocence and for a long time, it stole my voice and self-esteem.
Now, as I reflect,I realize that asking why is not important. Understanding why, is... My understanding has come from a solid relationship with God. I have not let ANYONE, tell me that, I am not good enough for the Lord to love; and believe me, so many have tried to convince me of this.
Every thing that I have encountered has made me strong. Each experience prepared me for the next and every single one contributed to my abilities to handle what, may have broken others down. Now, I do not profess to be a "stainless steel..." I had my fall between 1989 and 1991. I met a girl named Coca Aine and she and I,
"ran together for a minute." She became my best friend. So much so, that all my other friends had to go. I had no room for them.
Somehow or another I got tired of Coca because she was trying to spend every day and every moment with me. She did not want me to eat,sleep,or work. She definitely did not want me to be the mother that I had been in the past to my beautiful daughter. Coca even stole from me and encouraged me to steel from myself and others. Coca had me lying to myself and to others so,yeah, she needed to go.
I managed to remember the teachings of my grandmother in my most terrified moments.
Nana had taught me that prayer changes things. Prayer can move the mountains that we cannot. I incorporated prayer because as desperate as I had become, it was the one thing that I had not tried to dismantle my relationship with Coca. It worked. I know today that prayer without works is dead because as I look back; I did have to take the necessary actions in conjunction with prayer.
I had to stop hanging out with friends of Coca and find new friends. I had to fill these gaps with some previous good friends and I had to work hard to be a better person in every way. Most importantly, one of my resources taught me that if I did not deal with my violations then they would haunt me again and possibly Coca would make her way back into my life. The thought of this scared me so much that,I began professional counseling with a therapist.
I utilized other tools like support groups. I was getting stronger and stronger.
Six years into my recovery process, I tried to help a friend with her relocation back to our hometown by subletting her my apartment. I had met her during my healing period and she too was recovering from her life's fall. I had grown very close to her but she'd left to go back to the state where she was originally from. Well, I heard that she wanted to now transition back to the town where we'd become friends.
I had a home in Burlington, Massachusetts and an apartment in Malden, Massachusetts that, was vacant and furnished. I Offered my friend a sublet lease.
Due to some previous credit issues that prevented her ability to turn on utilities in her own name;I turned the utilities on in my name for her. One day, I got a call from the light company that my lights were going to be shut off, due to non-payment of the bill. It had not been paid since she moved in three months ago. I called her and discussed it and was assured by her that, she would take care of it.
I warned her that the light company stated that they were scheduled to shut the lights off by 9pm if the bill was not paid.
Later that evening my friend called to accuse me of turning the lights off on her and her son. I was shocked! I defended myself by referencing the earlier conversation but, she was not trying to hear me and the accusations grew stronger and stronger. Finally, I got angry and said; that even if I did. "You have not paid the bill for three months!" It just dawned on me; "What was her rational?" The truth is, I did not have them turned off.
I believe that to this day she holds this untruth in her heart. I have not seen, nor spoken to her in about fourteen years. Our relationship ended with her having her sons father threaten me and the two of them accusing me of relapsing in my recovery.
This roomer was spread all over Boston where I'd lived at the time.
Many of the so called friends believed and sided with her and turned their backs on me. I don't blame them as she had more years of knowing them than I. My life went on and I am sure all of theirs did as well. The reason that I shared all this is because I owe it to myself to tell my side of the story as no one's ever asked me.
Personally I never felt the need to explain to people who had formed opinions.
The point here is, that even after establishing a covenant relationship with my Lord and savior; challenges have never stopped. The attacks on my life have never quit. The adversary has worked diligently to Steal, kill and destroy my soul.
Clearly, I have not let it stop me. I have persevered through it all. And just think, you haven't heard one tenth of my story. I thank God for my journey here.
I look forward to more of His Mercy and Grace because, I know that neither He, nor the adversary are through with me yet.
I pray that this small part of my story encourages someone and teaches them that they must not quit and that they are never alone.
My life has birthed my ability to paint these pages of encouragement for other children in the struggle... Here are a few things to always remember. Love hard, forgive yourself first so that it's easier to forgive someone else, be responsible, work hard, tell the truth no matter how scary or hurtful it may seem and always pray to your higher power. Mine is God and He does not mind being yours too! Most of all always pray and seek both instruction and direction.
Life really is what you make it!
(C)logicalpoetist July 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
seasons of change
Suddenly life just changes
feeling of sudden shift
everything just re-arranges
hem that has no stitch
hands on the clock
representative of time
time seems to be running out
if blessed with more
be very sure to dance laugh
and shout-
Life is a precious gift
time meant to be shared
yet many treat time as if
it last forever
many just don't care
the sky is soft and blue
containing thousands of clouds
in all of it's peacefulness
it speaks so very loud
rain falls on everyone
it's no excuse to be rude or mean
Winter promised windy days
summer pronounces green
Now fall, it demands change
and spring is when change is seen
Each season of life brings purpose
a contribution not instantly understood
time sometimes runs out
whispers "it was all for good"
epiphany speaks in relative form
what is displayed to the heart
was it worth it all
simply was norm
why then does complexity
play such a part
for if it were easily understood
underdeveloped would be our hearts
Lord knows better than we
change builds integrity
and strength..
If left up to us
we'd choose no pain
we'd go the shortest length
Learning little or nothing
gathering bits and pieces
we'd take forever learning lessons
under-qualified for God's increases
acceptance and faith
true keys to happiness
all things in the Master's time
be advised
His gifts are'
the very best!
(C)logicalpoetist June 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Splinter
Raging scream story untold
it has been lived so it must unfold
wrinkled lines represent ones soul
light is bright yet it's really not
exausted and suffocating in the dark
threw those slabs off my back
realized late back had cracked
Now mending...
Bending upward nice and slow
Rapidly life's begun to flow
sometimes in order to gain
one must let go
(C)logicalpoetist 2010
it has been lived so it must unfold
wrinkled lines represent ones soul
light is bright yet it's really not
exausted and suffocating in the dark
threw those slabs off my back
realized late back had cracked
Now mending...
Bending upward nice and slow
Rapidly life's begun to flow
sometimes in order to gain
one must let go
(C)logicalpoetist 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Divine Encounter
As, I sat on a bench reading the book of life. A woman approached me. She had eyes as deep as the sea and very dark skin that shined like a polished moon. Her hair was thick and very natural. She held out her hands, both hands. Can you help me she asked. What is it that you need my sister? I couldn't help but ask. She said money to eat. As, I looked into her face, I could not help, but notice that her eyes were red like fire. It appeared, that there was so much pain in them. I also noticed that she had a blanket tied around her waste and with her 3 bags of her belongings. I asked her if she were homeless and she said yes. Still holding out her hands. While reaching into my bag for money I stared at her palms. I placed a gracious gift in her hands... I couldn't help but to notice that this woman had in each of her hands a piercing indentation. Instantly, I thought of Jesus. I asked her where she was from? Surprisingly she answered; Egypt. How did you get here, I asked? Do you have family here? She said that she came here in search of life but all the souls are dead. She then said but for your compassion you are blessed. Thank you.. and she left. I felt something that I had never felt before as I watched her until she was completely out of my view. I believe with everything in me that she was more than what she appeared. It pays to look past what we see with our physical eyes.
(C) logicalpoetist April 2010
(C) logicalpoetist April 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Irreprable damage
Sometimes a person has to give up what is dearest to them to find peace. The discovery that one has lost them self while in their own company is yet, a painful discovery. Life is complex and the idea that while loving someone else one can actually lose who they are seems ludicrous, but it happens. However, it is not just love that plays a role in that loss. It is the job, the kids, friends outside a couples relationship and even technology that distracts us.
Rather you be the one dispensing the distractions, or the recipient of them; it eventually becomes a lose lose.
I have seen & heard wives crying out to their husbands for family & personal time. He responds with such detachment to the situation. "Well someones gotta pay the bills around here.." Likewise a wife who thinks that because she too is a bread winner that it's OK, to neglect her spouse & children of home cooked meals, help with homework and sexual pleasure to her mate.
So now there is an echoing silence in the home. The spouses have seperate lives instead of the life and partnership they married to create. The children have reached an age of independence and take no interest in time at home because they have been raising themselves thus far. They have taken interest in finding answers to their questions elsewhere. Most of all they have been shown how to fracture a family rather than build one.
The rest is not hard to gather. The love ends... the bow breaks... Separation,divorce, and for the kids... Fear, doubt insecurity, premature sex, drug experimentation, violence and seragate families called gangs.
The point of my expression here is that, once something precious is lost, seldom is it regained and even if it is; it is not regained with the pureness it once had. Take nothing for granted Life is short. The only thing that makes life and love last is quality.
Rather you be the one dispensing the distractions, or the recipient of them; it eventually becomes a lose lose.
I have seen & heard wives crying out to their husbands for family & personal time. He responds with such detachment to the situation. "Well someones gotta pay the bills around here.." Likewise a wife who thinks that because she too is a bread winner that it's OK, to neglect her spouse & children of home cooked meals, help with homework and sexual pleasure to her mate.
So now there is an echoing silence in the home. The spouses have seperate lives instead of the life and partnership they married to create. The children have reached an age of independence and take no interest in time at home because they have been raising themselves thus far. They have taken interest in finding answers to their questions elsewhere. Most of all they have been shown how to fracture a family rather than build one.
The rest is not hard to gather. The love ends... the bow breaks... Separation,divorce, and for the kids... Fear, doubt insecurity, premature sex, drug experimentation, violence and seragate families called gangs.
The point of my expression here is that, once something precious is lost, seldom is it regained and even if it is; it is not regained with the pureness it once had. Take nothing for granted Life is short. The only thing that makes life and love last is quality.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
What have I done to be deserving?
Today, I am pondering the people in my life. Particularly friends. They are my reflections of self. I am aware today of the significance of having solid friendships. God did not place us on this planet to be alone. Yet everyone here is not our friend. We all have a purpose indeed; yet not necessarily to each. We are attracted to one another by physics, by spirit, by commonality.
Have you ever really taken a deep look into the eyes of your friends. If so what you should find there is love, concern, compassion, interest in your dialogue, support of your dreams or vision for your life. I am inspired this morning to write about my friendships because undoubtedly, I am blessed with some of the best friends that this universe can offer me. My friends are a compliment to the wellness of my being. We all experience sadness and no one ever really knows the depth of an others pain, hurt, or disappointment. The last thing that we want when going through an emotional time is to feel that no one cares. Sometimes, we don't hear the depth of an other's cry for help and sometimes, we leave people alone in that way. This is OK as long as it's not YOU in need of support right? I think not.
Let us remember to be as we were commanded by God; responsible for one another. Someone needs to hear from you today. If you don't know who, just pick up the phone and reach out to a friend that perhaps you have not spoken to in weeks, months or years. Perhaps send them a literary correspondence letting them know that they are not forgotten. I am thankful that although most of my friends are far and few, I have been divinely favoured when I look at my selection of friends. I see pieces of myself in them and them in me. I now live in a place where I was not birthed and therefore have no roots. Yet, I am establishing new friendships and can see, and feel the exchanges of emotions. There is the existing compassion, concern for my well being and support of my vision for my life. FOR THE FREENESS OF THESE GIFTS WHAT HAVE I DONE TO BE DESERVING? As I think about it... I am careful and do not mean to appear tainted by vanity. Yet, I say for the purpose of inspiration only; being a good friend must have a lot to do with it.
The most powerful force in the universe is KARMA. The Lord promises that if we sow a good seed, we shall reap a fruitful harvest. Today, may you take the time to think about who you are, what contributions you are making to others.
GOD BLESS you & your friendships.
(C) logicalpoetist March 2010
Have you ever really taken a deep look into the eyes of your friends. If so what you should find there is love, concern, compassion, interest in your dialogue, support of your dreams or vision for your life. I am inspired this morning to write about my friendships because undoubtedly, I am blessed with some of the best friends that this universe can offer me. My friends are a compliment to the wellness of my being. We all experience sadness and no one ever really knows the depth of an others pain, hurt, or disappointment. The last thing that we want when going through an emotional time is to feel that no one cares. Sometimes, we don't hear the depth of an other's cry for help and sometimes, we leave people alone in that way. This is OK as long as it's not YOU in need of support right? I think not.
Let us remember to be as we were commanded by God; responsible for one another. Someone needs to hear from you today. If you don't know who, just pick up the phone and reach out to a friend that perhaps you have not spoken to in weeks, months or years. Perhaps send them a literary correspondence letting them know that they are not forgotten. I am thankful that although most of my friends are far and few, I have been divinely favoured when I look at my selection of friends. I see pieces of myself in them and them in me. I now live in a place where I was not birthed and therefore have no roots. Yet, I am establishing new friendships and can see, and feel the exchanges of emotions. There is the existing compassion, concern for my well being and support of my vision for my life. FOR THE FREENESS OF THESE GIFTS WHAT HAVE I DONE TO BE DESERVING? As I think about it... I am careful and do not mean to appear tainted by vanity. Yet, I say for the purpose of inspiration only; being a good friend must have a lot to do with it.
The most powerful force in the universe is KARMA. The Lord promises that if we sow a good seed, we shall reap a fruitful harvest. Today, may you take the time to think about who you are, what contributions you are making to others.
GOD BLESS you & your friendships.
(C) logicalpoetist March 2010
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