Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Don't Be Afraid

Life never stops testing you as long as you are breathing. There have been many challenges in our individual lives. Most of us can recall during childhood forward some form of challenge. Many can recall like experiences starting when began going to school.
For example there was the bully that was very popular and used that popularity to push others around. For some not making the sports team was very disappointing. These examples however are a fraction of some much bigger challenges.
What about the challenge of being a child victim of abuse be it physical, emotional or sexual? Unaware that these acts were shaping the way you see the world and the way the world will treat you as you grow older due to your now defensive disposition.

It can be very difficult to think highly of oneself when these type of violations have taken place. As you move through life the hurt never seems to stop. There is a certain distorted comfort in that familiar pain. In other words some people accept the mistreatment and sadly expect nothing more. There is a small population of people who seek help in a professional setting such as therapy/counseling.

Most do not as one part of their abuse may have been discouragement of such help.
Does this sound familiar? "What happens in this house stays in this house!"

The problem with this is that children grow into adults with a stereo type about therapeutic settings that is not very good and often find themselves stuck trying to figure out how to get past such pain and find their place in the world.

I have seen bully's never learn either to respect other's. They have been bullying so long and have not been introduced to karma yet. At least not in a way that caused them to think consequentially of their actions. some are in powerful positions within their careers and are continuing the abusive patterns that they had as children.
What happens to the adults that were those abused children when they end up with a superior with this habit of unhealthy aggression? How does one that never learned to advocate for themselves now do it in their adult life?

I want to encourage therapy. Some good things to be said about therapy and counseling are that people that take advantage of this tool are not crazy. As a matter of fact you are showing how truly smart you are and how much you love yourself.

Another key fact that addresses the old belief to keep family business in the house is that;secrets sicken the soul. Some secrets need to be exposed. Abuse of any kind qualifies.

there are however some things that will help make a therapeutic environment a rewarding experience. Shopping for the right therapist/counselor for you is the key to a successful experience. Take the time to have initial consultation with at least three before deciding which one you will continue to see. Consider if the sex of the person matters to you. Some people are more comfortable with males or females depending the nature of their needs.

Three things that are necessary in order to benefit from therapy are an open mind, honesty and willingness. Finally determine if you would be more comfortable in an individual counseling setting or a group setting. This can make all the difference when it comes to sharing your concerns.

The important thing is that you get the help that you need and throw out all negative teachings. Some one very close to me waited years to address an abusive pat. She was a scholar who achieved the highest academic degree possible and seemed to have the world in her lap. Then one day she suffered a nervous breakdown. She has never been the same since. I am sure that there were signs leading up to her sudden detachment from reality but, she kept ignoring them until it was too late.

If you have bouts of depression or sadness. If you are an over achiever, over eater,workaholic, substance abuser, bully, love addict, sex addict or tend to isolate from people as much as possible then you probably should consider talking with a professional. These are very dangerous and can only lead to destruction later in your life.
Things always look far away from a distance. The sooner you seek help the sooner you are on your way to a more satisfying life.

The truth is that life rarely deals anyone a fair hand.. We all have experienced some type of hurt and not everyone has the same affect but for the people that are deeply affected, please know that there is hope for you and help available to you. You only need to accept that you need it and seek it.

The Best of luck and always, May God Bless you-